Neutron

This neutron walks into a pub.

"I'd like a pint of lager," he says.

The barman promptly serves up a lager.

"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.

"For you?" replies the barman, "no charge."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a pub.

One says, "I think I've lost an electron."

The other says "Are you sure?"

The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."

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